another productive day at work

i'm on DVD#10 out of 15
filtering through these garbage clips
for a series called Super Funny Home Video.


i'm supposed to be looking for soccer clips
(what german audiences will undoubtedly enjoy)
but all i keep finding are baboon pussies
and (dare i say) BABY COCK!


there's also a lot of bad wedding videos
and terrible sports accident footage
but watching it all in fast forward x2
makes me nostalgic/insane/distressed


each clip is about 15-20 seconds long
multiplied by hundreds per DVD
multiplied by 15 DVDs
equals...


...
from the 80s?
from a parallel universe?
from an ever-growing brain tumor
that causes me extended hallucinatory periods?
...

...
who finds animals humping hilarious?
i sure don't.
but animals humping children,
well that's another story.
...

...
I killed Liz.
...

...
I killed the teen dream.
...

...
Deal with it.
...

...equals 21 hours : 23 minutes : 08 seconds

fact

my father screams
while he shits

packwiches

these things are piling up in my host family's fridge.
i've been eating them for the past 6 months, but lately
i've felt like barfing at the thought of them.

imagine a normal sandwich,
but much, much blander,
with the texture of a sponge
and about ten times unhealthier.

i will from this time on refer to them as packwiches
and perhaps coin the term and start a superior line!

stock response

if talking about the weather every day equals relating to people
then i want nothing to do with it