aimless, disappointed, confused

(@ capital one headquarters; hopeful job candidate, eager to work.)

more bad news: i didn't get the senior art director associate
position with capital one.
i had to endure an overextended interview process,
a recruiter who never initiated any contact whatsoever,
and a terrible period of loneliness, self-doubt, and
an ever-draining bank account with no income.


(@ home, alone without job or local friend network, totally devastated)

what to do?
at this point i can't stand the sight of online forms,
am so tired of mass emails for positions that
don't fit my goals whatsoever.
should i settle for lowered expectations,
lowered wages and a lower value of myself?
with this job failure have i accomplished anything
in the past 2 months since being back?
what am i doing here?