splice review

well so they raise this human/animal hybrid thing called dren (nerd backwards)

and the woman is really attached to it like a daughter and dresses it up like a doll


it finds a cat and is super happy but the "mom" takes it away and when she decides to give it back later dren kills it!

and there are some weird scenes where adrien brody dances with dren and looks into its eyes and feeling gooshy


then things get super fucked up when adrien (sp?) brody fucks dren on a barnyard floor and dren sprout these wing things for no reason

oh and the mom amputates dren's penis tail at one point

so then dren changes gender and becomes a man, flies around for a while and kills a bunch of people, then rapes the woman


GRAPHICALLY

then adrien brody stabs dren, dren stabs adrien with regrown penis tail, adrien dies, mama squashes dren's head with boulder, dren dies

end scene of mama making negotiations with this gene company about selling the monster baby in her stomach (she's preggers), ends with her and random business woman looking out onto the city with the line "what's the worst that could happen?"

END CREDITS! LOL

on the job revisions!

how does this (above):








become this (below):


ANSWER: the merchant!

also this is my life now :)

caged animals photo series

autonomous consumption

as of now i still have zero income.
but in the words of metric's handshakes:
"buy this car to drive to work,
drive to work to pay for this car,
buy this car to drive to work,
drive to worrrrrrrk"

yes,
i have given in to the idea of buying a car.
this is america. i need that shit to survive.
indecisive as i am, it has been difficult decision.
what's more important? is it style, durability,
reputation, features, cost, color, or
ability to shift into a money making machine?


the chevy cobalt is nice, mainly because
it's the upgraded version of my former car,
which means it will never break down but
each ride feels like sitting in the back of a wagon.


the mitsubishi galant is most likely the safe bet.
my mama has one, and the practicality of these cars
furthers my love for japanese things.
it's relatively expensive though...


now here's a real deal of a set of wheels.
practical! popular! pristine!
pretty purty for a pair of pantsuits,
and to ideally cart me around like a lumberjack.
this expense could prove painful :(

Get A Room!

i need a whistling expert for work!
i made up a fake profile for a speech pathologist
named Rebecca... so i guess it needs to be a woman.
it pays nothing, but your face will be seen by
80 million people each month (more like 10 people).


copying thousands of titles to an Excel sheet is considered Research.
Who'd a thunk it?!


my bestiality spam project is still sadly in the works.
i need to accomplish more personal tasks on the job.


translating 989 eHow titles from English to German is neither
mind-numbingly tedious nor impractical, right?


the Get A Room! ad on the left is too clever.
also check out this robotic design: http://staceybelchespeech.com/

shit. day.

fuck bike sellers here.
the third one told me my bike was a piece of shit,
that the front tire looked like a banana,
that i should just throw it away
before i end up in the hospital.
asshole!
the other two at least told me that
the only problem was with the back wheel
which i knew and
despite their vastly varying prices
agreed on the misalignment problem.
it's raining too
and i had to share the bus with 3 baby carriages
and a shit load of people
with my bike in hand, back and forth.

counteractive measure to my overwhelming depression include:
crepes, indian food, antm / true blood, and not doing my homework
i can't wait to be in berlin!

oh, and i had a dream last night about how frau beerbaum
ran a prostitution ring, and in my dream i lay next to her in bed
while she got fucked by an old man for 739 euros.
disgusting.