on the job revisions!

how does this (above):








become this (below):


ANSWER: the merchant!

also this is my life now :)

successsssssss

um so yeah i'm employed now.
2nd day on the job.
amazing amazing
livingsocial.com
i design graphics for various markets,
nothing too crazy as of now,
but happily employed
and feeling so fulfilled
FINALLY

Get A Room!

i need a whistling expert for work!
i made up a fake profile for a speech pathologist
named Rebecca... so i guess it needs to be a woman.
it pays nothing, but your face will be seen by
80 million people each month (more like 10 people).


copying thousands of titles to an Excel sheet is considered Research.
Who'd a thunk it?!


my bestiality spam project is still sadly in the works.
i need to accomplish more personal tasks on the job.


translating 989 eHow titles from English to German is neither
mind-numbingly tedious nor impractical, right?


the Get A Room! ad on the left is too clever.
also check out this robotic design: http://staceybelchespeech.com/

oh danny boy

(buddha indian restaurant)

four photos from the weekend
to sum up my wonderful friend daniel.


(buddha indian restaurant#2)

ridiculous, quirky, fun, and kind.
honestly the most constantly positive person i know, i think.


(ben&josh's apartment aka beer pong slosh fest)

i'm really going to miss him.
he's definitely the best thing about potsdam,
arguably the best thing about germany in general, too.


(unknown apt building, hunting for human cadavers and possible parties)

learned at work

oh ponycocks.
i made these at work today.
they may look nice, but i don't think they actually have a point.
i have learned that eHow has one of the worst interfaces
for any website i have seen in awhile.
also that they don't answer emails in a timely fashion.


also that some tasks seem impossible,
and some actually are,
but with enough bullshit and charts and bells and whistles
people are still impressed.
i'm feverish and freezing at the same time.


i can sing my boss's ringtone
(did you know if a singular common noun ends in s, add 's—unless the next word begins with s. If the next word begins with s, add an apostrophe only. (This includes words with s and sh sounds.)
and i know when to quickly switch from antm & fat blogs
to a generic webpage about demand media.
did i mention i earn 1.50 euro(s?) per hour!?
i have friday off i have friday off i have friday off
and i couldn't be more excited.

another productive day at work

i'm on DVD#10 out of 15
filtering through these garbage clips
for a series called Super Funny Home Video.


i'm supposed to be looking for soccer clips
(what german audiences will undoubtedly enjoy)
but all i keep finding are baboon pussies
and (dare i say) BABY COCK!


there's also a lot of bad wedding videos
and terrible sports accident footage
but watching it all in fast forward x2
makes me nostalgic/insane/distressed


each clip is about 15-20 seconds long
multiplied by hundreds per DVD
multiplied by 15 DVDs
equals...


...
from the 80s?
from a parallel universe?
from an ever-growing brain tumor
that causes me extended hallucinatory periods?
...

...
who finds animals humping hilarious?
i sure don't.
but animals humping children,
well that's another story.
...

...
I killed Liz.
...

...
I killed the teen dream.
...

...
Deal with it.
...

...equals 21 hours : 23 minutes : 08 seconds

the CONS & PROS

so i need to move to berlin. it's been too ridiculous lately with traveling 2-4 hours a day, sleeping roughly the same amount (!!!) and just feeling like going back to potsdam and the same host family situation is FAR from ideal. moving sucks for sure, but seeing other people's apartments in berlin makes me rethink things... so here's the cons and the pros (rather than pros and con, since i wouldn't be reconsidering the situation if everything was positive and great, right?)

CONS:

• smoky shit smell
  
• sharing bathroom - never shower, no time in morning
  
• 1hr+ travel time each way to/from work, sometimes 2x day to party in Berlin
  
• host family never eats together - Microwave is king!!!
  
• socializing around the televiison - TV waves = brain waves
  
• computer- & South Park-obsessed host father ***doesn't look at me anymore!
  
• total mismatch in personalities & interests
  
• 205 euro rent + only 100 euro stipend (compared to 250 euro stipend when living in a shared apt) to barely live there, barely eat their food, and to have little to no contact with these people
  
• sometimes pissy host sister
  
• host mom badmouthed Ulli!
  
• Bahncard expiring 31.03.10 - no need to pay extra just so i can go to potsdam every day
  

PROS:

• WAS convenient during the university phase
  
• relative privacy
  
• internet connection
  
• food always available
  
• sofa is relatively comfortable
  
• always warm
  
• uni gym membership & proximity
  
• trips with daniel
  
• someone else does the cooking/shopping/cleaning
  

i mean i don't want to make it out to be the worst situation ever, but it'd be nice for a change... a big change for the remainder of my time here. i'm searching for places now!

missing miss cleo

so i'm watching TV and playing cards again.
funny how no matter in which country i am
i manage to watch the worst garbage on TV::



i love the way she shuffles!
also i love that this is her actual profession.
maybe there's hope!

nostalgia

in some ridiculous, uncomprehensible way
i understand when katharine said that she
had a great deal of nostalgia for williamsburg.
it was so simple and easy. uninspiring perhaps but easy.
i'll always remember our times there together.
nothing can replace the insanity!